The Lazy Lipstick Life

Couch Bummin' – Makeup Geekin' – Soul Searchin'

It has been a few HOT minutes since I’ve been present in Blogger’s Paradise due to a lot of life happening lately. Excuses, excuses…. I know… (I may choose to write about some of those more serious matters at a latter time.)  When “LIFE” stuff hasn’t been happening, a mad case of sheer laziness has kicked in and glued me to my couch for several Netflix and “actual” CHILL moments with my precious Pit-bull Penny Lou, snuggled up in 25 blankets with the fan turned on high. There’s just something so gratifying about being all cozied up with a tangible fear that frostbite could set in should my little toe set foot outside the blanket into my Antarctic living room. Sheer freaking bliss. Ahhhhhh.

Adulting is hard as frickle frack, but figuring out what NOT to put in kid’s treat bags this Halloween should not be one of your more challenging moments. This list has been brought to you by crazy news headlines and a few personal experiences in no particular order:

  1. Nasty Candy  – Perusing the Halloween candy aisle at your local grocer you stumble upon what you find is reminiscent of your childhood or happens to be a great bargain. Don’t, just don’t. The 4 out of 10 hipster children that come a knocking will still be rare that truly appreciate your butterscotch fantasies, horehound nastiness, fake wrapped strawberries with artificial #5, or bits o’ honey AKA “let’s head to the dentist to replace those missing fillings.” Stop while your ahead.
  2. Expired Coupons for Free Ice-cream – I was actually debating last year when I ran out of candy if sticking my expired Wendy’s coupons for mini Frosty’s was the worst idea ever. Don’t, just don’t. There will be a screaming kid somewhere demanding ice cream giving his mother backseat minivan blood-curdling hell, I assure you.
  3. Toothbrushes or other oral hygiene items – I want to like this one I really do, especially with all the sugary death we are loading these little (and quite often far too BIG kids) down with on this Diabetes inducing holiday. The truth of the matter is, YOU will be “that guy” in the brick house with the yellow door who hands out tooth brushes. You’re totally getting wet toilet paper hanging from the oak tree in your front yard. Don’t be that guy unless of course you enjoy picking wet TP out of trees.
  4. Mini Bibles or religious pamphlets – I love my God and I love me some JESUS, but this is NOT the time or the hour. Unless your strapping a full sized Snickers to the front cover, you’re efforts would be much more appreciated any other day. Not to mention that delivery is key. Put it in the goodie bag, and your just increasing your number on the douchiness scale.
  5. Cheapo Wax Crayons – Spare me the frustration of trying to complete the unicorn color by number in my coloring book, and splurge on a box of damn Crayola if you’re choosing to be a total tool this year.
  6. Dried Fruit – I won’t berate you for sticking an apple or orange in a child’s sack especially with the whole obesity epidemic and the fact that some kids today look at fruit like they have no clue what a pear is. However, if you muddle up whatever stupidity it must take to put prunes, raisins, or dried apricots in a “treat” bag for a child, I simply have no words for you. They aren’t trying to rampage the neighborhood with dreams of going #2 this hallowed eve.
  7. Hand Sanitizer – I actually think this would be kinda smart if it were tied to the treat bag, and the little grubs remembered to use it before they tear into all their goodies (after being parent checked of course), but the truth of the matter is that there is some little Einstein out there who is gonna probably try and drink it. Not to mention even on sale at Bath & Body Works the cute ones are 5 for $6 and that ish’ adds up quickkkk. I don’t know about you folks, but I is balling on a budget this year.
  8. Oatmeal Packets – Go ahead and turn your porch light off now. Remove yourself from your pantry and sit back down to watch your Wheel of Fortune. If you couldn’t make a candy run this year, just turn off all the lights and pretend you ain’t home. Eat your oatmeal and hush it.
  9. Plastic Toys – Even though all those years of digging in the treasure chest after dinner at The AQ Chicken House, and finding the ever coveted Chinese finger trap fill me with joy & elation, I will never forget the year I worked at the Ear, Nose, and Throat Clinic and we pulled a plastic firetruck out of little Billy’s nasal cavity. I mean, he really REALLY got it wedged up there! His parents were on the not so happy end of things with an after hours medical bill and a kid with a newly discovered hidey hole.
  10. Razor blades – It is not hard at all for the police to track down which house the razor blades came from using a little deductive reasoning and neighborhood questioning. (Not to mention your existing potential rap sheet.) If you just can’t contain your love of harming children, go ahead and cut your own throat with a rusted hacksaw. I’ll be sure to not send flowers. Hell hath no fury more than it does for thee that harms a child.

Happy Halloween, Witches!

-Bethany

Candy Corn Witch

 

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I love to take baths every week – like legit maybe 3-4 a week, followed by a good rinse off in the shower of course. Added that part after one of my super OCD hygienic friends told me in some random convo that it’s basically like sitting in your own funk… (And with bubbles!) Lovely..

There’s something extremely therapeutic to the soul soaking in an almost scalding tub of foamy heaven. “Calgon, take me away.”

But let me be honest, a box or bottle of bath soak only lasts me a good 3-4 weeks, if I’m taking my standard 10-12 baths a month. Rub a dub dub, dollar bills in the tub!?!? Nay… There must be another way! Oh, and there is… Take it to the Pinterest Gods. (Or Goddesses)

I give you Pinterest Exhibit A. Probably more like Exhibit F or G considering how many different formulas/recipes I tried, just to create the perfect sudsin’ action. Not to mention the smell!?! You are going to think you’ve died and gone to bath-time heaven, after stopping along the way at a quaint roadside diner that serves the BEST lemon meringue pie. Lemony freakin’ Snicket.

What you need:

  • Large Mixing Bowl
  • Small Mixing Bowel
  • Whisk
  • Measuring Cups & Spoons
  • 3 tbsp Lemon, Dried Zest (I grated a LOT of lemon zest the night before, so that it could dry overnight)

 

 

  • 1 cup Baking soda

 

  • 1/2 cup Corn starch

 

  • 3 tbsp Epsom salts

 

  • 1/2 tsp Vanilla

 

  • 2 tsp Coconut oil

 

  • 15 drops Lemon essential oil

 

  • 3/4 tsp Water

 

  • 1/2 cup Citric Acid (I found it best to purchase on Amazon, cause you can get like a 5 lb. bag for around $13)
  • Bath Bomb Molds (I initially purchased cheap plastic ornaments from Hobby Lobby to start, until they eventually cracked from freezing so many times. Ornament Mold – Hobby Lobby

 

Click here to make your own bombs! (Not the I live at home in my Grandma’s basement kind either, ya sicko!!)

A big round of applause to Nicole at Mom Always Finds Out for the recipe! The only thing I would suggest if your like me and can’t wait overnight for the balls to set up, is to put them in the freezer for about 1-2 hours once you load the molds.  You can then easily pop them out and use immediately if you want to. Who are we kidding!?!? Kids in a candy store, people…

Also, let me add, the base recipe for these bath bombs is hands down the BEST I have found after several failed attempts of the bath bombs not setting up right, falling apart, or not fizzing in the water. These literally will blow your mind in the good kinda way! 🙂 I even tried playing around with food coloring on a few different recipes, but there was a mishap involving the color blue and the toilet – don’t recommend unless you really like the Smurfs. Full details omitted for self preservation and to save face. *Cough*

Happy bathing! Please practice water safety caution and try not to go all Britney circa 2003.  Everytime – Britney Spears

P.S. I LOVEEEEEE BRITNEY. (Don’t get it twisted.)

Peace.

XOXO,

-B

Recently I traveled to Sin City  – 1st time ever! I was absolutely in awe. Bright lights and shiny things – had my typical squirrel moments in overdrive. I was like a kid in a candy store! The heat was something to be feared, and the nights blurred into mornings.

In any case, being a first timer, I over-packed soooo many unnecessary things and found myself making a couple of trips to the local Walmart for others. Since the airline I traveled on (not saying any names, cough, Allegiant, totally sucked and nickle and dimed us for every little thing; we refused to check luggage even though we were traveling for a whole week. So I personally crammed every last toiletry and piece of jewelry into my carry on luggage. It barely fit into the overhead bin, and the smarmy flight attendant said, “your gonna probably just have to check that.” No attempt to even help put the luggage in the bin. She’s lucky I was saving all my energy up for late night festivities or she might of gotten an ear full. After 30, you conserve the little bit of energy you have. Thankfully the sweet, kind, elderly gentleman in row 24G assisted me in securing my luggage in the bin. If your a plus size traveler you know what I’m talking about. Trying to shimmy to the back of the plane in the aisle as you sweat like a pig in a bacon factory. No words. Thank you, kind sir.

Needless to say, all of this got me to thinking about traveling and how hectic it can sometimes be. What I should have never left home without, how to be a more strategic packer, and little things that can really make the difference when taking carry on luggage only. Or as I sometimes like to call it, Ballin’ on a Budget.

Drumroll please…

Here’s my list of things you don’t want to forget:

  1. Several of 3 oz. size plastic toiletry bottles. *You can fill up as many as you need that can fit into a quart size bag, but don’t you dare tote that $25 Redken conditioner in your carry on. Anything over 3.4 oz. is getting confiscated by Beulah the Airport Security guard who has nappy split ends and a mad case of RBF.
  2. Groupon Printouts & any reservation info. *I spent a lot of time rummaging through emails trying to find ticket information for shows and events while standing in line. The internet service was sketchy at best, and it was a pain having to waste time looking for info, when I could have just had a paper copy. Plus I could have spent more time sucking down that amazing slush from Evening Call – Adult Slushie Heaven!
  3. A hat of some sort.. I wish I had taken one, my albino epidermis burnt to a crisp in about 10 minutes in the Vegas sun. Holy Chimichanga! Who knew the Desert was so relentless.
  4. Super comfortable walking shoes. No freaking joke. I bought some Teva sandals that I thought would be perfect. They might have been for a stroll around town, but we literally walked probably 5-7 miles a day. This ain’t no  fashion show for tourists. I swear those girls in 4 inch heels have callouses of steel built up. Next time, it’s you and me Dr. Scholl’s.
  5. Health Insurance Card. No joke. Our hotel room had a kick ass jacuzzi tub that I visited on the daily. Let’s just say I like a LOT of bubbles. I don’t play around with my Dr. Teals Coconut Foam Bath and I don’t skimp on product. I was pouring one out for every homie from AZ to NY, and maybe “tripped” into the tub. Gracefully of course. Righttttt.
  6. Phone Charger. These aren’t cheap, and you certainly don’t want your phone to die amidst all the great photo opps. Sure they have charging stations in virtually every casino, but paying to charge your phone? I don’t know about you, but I got better ways to spend my cold hard cash.
  7. Neck Pillow. Plane rides are brutal, and without one of these guys you are going find yourself like I did, nodding off every few minutes and waking up with drool on your face. I wish I was kidding.. If you want to be hip you can snag yourself one of these trendy leopard travel pillows.
  8. Noise Cancelling Earbuds. There is only so much of screamin’ teethin’ baby Leonard a meer 3 rows behind you that you will be able to handle. I don’t care if you’re name is Octomom, this kid has windpipes like Edda Moser and he doesn’t want his “binkie” for the 50th time, Mom….
  9. Room for Souvenirs. Something I definitely forgot to do, so my apologies to those of you who received the standard, “My friend went to Vegas, and all I got was this lousy ….” (Magnet, keychain, bottle opener, etc.) 
  10. Bail Money. You never know when someone will forget to take their chill pill before they decide to get on the party bus. So when “Tina” decides to get her big girl panties in a wad and throw her Vodka-Cran all over you’re girl’s brand new white dress, you have a back up plan. Thank heavens I took my chill pill that day, or who knows what could of happened! (I’m classy on my good days)                                                                                                                                                                               ***Never forget, what happens in Vegas, does NOT always stay there. Especially if it’s a criminal record.

Safe travels,lipsters!

XoXo,

Bethany

For the past who knows how long (which feels like a real indefinite period of time), I have chuckled watching my mom purchase these smilin’ little yellow sponges to wash her dishes by hand that she saw on Shark Tank long ago. Dish washing by hand!?! I never could quite jump on that bandwagon due to the timeliness of it all, and not to mention dawning ever so smexy prune hands. Which brings about a whole other thought as to why we get all pruney when soaking our extremities anyway — brought to you in part by a moment of my ever exciting adult ADD. Interest peaked? Click here, Prune Hands!

But back to the archaic days of washing dishes by hand – who really does that anymore other than my Mom and Grandma? Mom finds it “soothing to her soul,” she says. My reply, “Step away from the sink and no dish gets hurt!” That’s until she purchased me my very own Scrub Daddy. She’s a real barrel of monkeys, that one.

So I decided after about 2 weeks of staring at the smiley little creep, to take Mr. Smiley and my precious little phalanges for a dip into the soapy pits of dish-washing hell.

I find the grubbiest & grimiest pan with cheesy scrambled eggs bits that I typically would soak for a couple hours before ever attempting to scrub pre-dishwasher. I grab the Scrub Daddy and go to town. Pieces of egg on top are coming off pretty easily, but they are building up on my sponge so I do a quick cold water rinse and the sponge goes from soft and pliable to rock solid. (Had I read the instructions initially I would have known this is totally normal and not some voodoo sponge trickery)

I take a second pass at the brown bits of seared egg on the bottom of the pan,  and the firm sponge texture is literally scraping them away with ease! Eyes widen, jaw drops. Get outta dodge my new magical scrubby friend!

Highlights:

  • Doesn’t smell
  • Changing texture for need based on water temp (Cold for firm, warm for soft)
  • Easily sanitize in microwave or top dishwasher rack
  • Easy hold with eye holes for fingers (Again, kinda creepy but super effective)
  • Made & packaged in the USA (German material)
  • Non toxic
  • Latex & BPA free
  • Lasts longer and stays cleaner than the Petri-dish of a sponge sitting at your sink now (Toss it for the love of all that is holy!)

Recommendation:

Buy the sponge!! It makes dish washing by hand so much easier and dare I even say pleasurable!?!? Four snaps in a Z formation.

4 snaps

Happy scrubbing! 🙂

 

 

My daughter and I followed up dinner with a binge sesh of one of our favorite shows Prison Break. I decided to rename this recipe accordingly, it has nothing to do with an excerpt from the Urban Dictionary. And even more delicious than staring at Dominic Purcell as Lincoln Burrows if that’s even humanly possibly. Mega drool-worthy and Netflix binge worthy.

Anywhoo, I hope you like these”scrimps” as much as we did. YUMMO. A special thank you to Sabrina from Dinner Then Dessert which is where we found the recipe. Very cool site with delicious and easy eats and treats to make.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/4 cup Thai sweet chili sauce
  • 1/4 teaspoon Sriracha
  • 1 pound shrimp shelled and deveined
  • 1/2 cup buttermilk
  • 3/4 cup cornstarch
  • canola oil for frying

Instructions

  1. In a small bowl add the mayonnaise, Thai sweet chili sauce and Sriracha and stir.
  2. In a second bowl add the shrimp and buttermilk and stir to coat all the shrimp.
  3. Remove from the buttermilk and let excess liquid drain away.
  4. Coat the shrimp in cornstarch.
  5. In a heavy bottomed pan add 2-3 inches of canola oil and heat to 375 degrees
  6. Fry the shrimp until lightly brown, 1-2 minutes on each side.
  7. Once fried coat with the sauce and serve immediately.

     

Ahhhh, Summertime.. The perfect time of year for cookouts in the park, trips to the pool, and a plethora of outdoor activities – in the 100+ degree smoldering sun. Don’t forget that 70+ SPF if your a fellow pasty princess or a total bronzed Betty. If you’re like me, your oil slick mug is driving you batty. If your a little more blessed, your enjoying your perfect dewy glow. Possibly. Either way, on a serious note,when did you last clean your makeup brushes? I mean, the goal should be at minimum every couple of weeks, but let’s be honest — you’re probably thinking, “Ain’t nobody got time for that, Cletus.” Oh how twisted the tangled web of lies we tell ourselves can be.

After a recent bad break out, I decided it was time to go all Mrs. Clean on my FILTHY makeup brushes. If they could talk, they would tell me they feel like they spent the last month camping at a music festival sharing shower soap with their new patchouli pal named Banjo. No, thank you sir.  I’m gonna share with you the easiest way I’ve found to get the job done. It doesn’t get much easier than this folks. Atleast, not to my knowledge. Unless there is some magical potion or snapping of the fingers that will go all Sword in the Stone Merlin on your brushes. Sword in the Stone, 1963, “Rubity, Scrubity, Sweepity.”

If your not wielding some magic juju, you don’t need more than 15 – 20 mins. and a few household items to get the job done. *I recommend doing this in the evening allowing plenty of dry time.

What you’ll need:

  • Dirty Makeup Brushes
  • Baby Shampoo (I use Johnson & Johnson)
  • 2 small Bowls
  • Warm Water
  • 2 Clean towels

Steps:

  1. Wash your hands – obviously…
  2. Lay 1 folded clean towel down on the flat surface in the area that you will be working. (Preferably near a sink for easy access to running water)
  3. Fill 1 small bowl with warm water and a small squeeze of baby shampoo and the other with just warm water.shampoo
  4. Dip Makeup brush in soapy water bowl and swirl vigorously for about 30-45 seconds. Repeat in the clean water bowl. *Be careful not to get water in the band where the metal meets wood near brush head as this can causing rotting of the wood.
  5. Give the brush head bristles a final rinse under the sink.
  6. Take other clean towel and gently dry the brush, reshaping as you go with your hand. Just like hairs on your head, you don’t want to go yanking out your precious locks.
  7. Lay clean brush on folded towel to air dry. Don’t get all fancy pants and try to bust out your hair dryer. This never ends well. (Not that I know or anything.)
  8. Repeat for all brushes and bask in the fact that you won’t be sporting that sexy pink eye or housing bugs on your makeup brushes or tools. No joke – check out this video Stevie Miller posted a while ago. Beauty Blender Bugs – Gross!

 

Now get it together and clean those brushes.

Later, lippies. Xoxo.

-Bethany

Do what you love. You reap a great sense of accomplishment and joy when you chase your passion—something you will do even if you aren’t paid. Following your passion allows you to gain skills in areas in which you are already strong and will push you to become better. Read: 5 Ways On How You […]

via 3 Keys to Increasing Your Confidence

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